夏祭りは浴衣を新調して楽しんでいます。花魁メークと垂らし帯で赤っ恥をかいた去年のことw

浴衣 ファッション

昨年の夏のお祭りでの赤っ恥体験を書かせていただきます。

若い頃から和柄の服を愛用していたほどの和物好きの私、毎年、お祭りの日は気合いを入れた浴衣で楽しんできました。昨年も、例年通り新しい浴衣を新調し、お祭り当日を指折り数えて待っていました。

そして、ついにお祭りの日。メイク、へアセット、着付けと楽しい楽しい変身タイム。イメージは花魁。

花魁と言えば目尻の赤と真っ赤な口紅ということで、ピンクのアイシャドウでふんわりと目元を色付けてから、赤のアイラインを太めに目尻より1センチほど長く描き、真っ赤な口紅をコッテリ塗って、髪はゆるいアップ。

浴衣の衿は鎖骨が半分くらい出るように大きめに開き、帯は背中からダランと2本垂れる垂らし帯。なかなかの出来映えに大満足で、気分は花魁まっしぐら。旦那様とご機嫌で出掛けたまでは良かったのですが…

屋台の料理やビールを一通り楽しんだ頃、急にトイレに行きたくなり、コンビニのトイレを借りることにしました。

浴衣の裾を捲り上げて便器に座り、一気に放出。スッキリ。気分もリフレッシュで立ち上がり、浴衣の裾を下ろして夫のもとへ。

「お待たせ~」と夫の横に並んだ瞬間、足に水がかかったと夫が騒ぎだした。

手を洗ったときの水かと思ったのですが、私の足元を見た夫が、「お前からポタポタ水が垂れてるぞ!」と、またしても大騒ぎ。

周りを見渡しても水の垂れるようなものはない。でも、確かに私の足の後ろにポタポタと水が垂れている。夫に背中を向けて確認してもらうと、垂らし帯の先がビショ塗れで、そこから水が滴り落ちているとのこと。

「なんで?」と考えればトイレしか思い当たらず、そうなると、帯に染み込んでいるものは「尿」以外に有り得ない。

「汚い!」とドン引きする旦那様の動きと、この現実に笑いが込み上げてしまい、ゲラゲラと涙を流して笑う私。

その顔を見た旦那様がギョッとした顔で固まった。

「なに?」と聞くと、「顔がヤバイぞ!歌舞伎になってる!」と大爆笑。

軽くイラッとしながら携帯を取り出して自分の顔を撮してみると、なんと、涙で溶けて流れ出した赤いアイラインが、目頭と目尻から顎へ向かって赤いラインを作っていて、まるで歌舞伎の隈取り状態。

驚いてギョッとした私の顔がさらに歌舞伎っていると大爆笑する夫につられて私も大爆笑してしまい、更なる赤い涙で修復不可能な顔になってしまった私。
仕方なく帰ることに。

尿の染み込んだ帯から水滴をポタポタ垂らしながら、歌舞伎役者のようになった顔を伏せて夫に手をひいてもらい帰る途中、運悪く何も知らずに私の後ろを歩く羽目になってしまった人たちの声。

「え?なにこれ?なんか足にかかった!」と聞こえる度に、

「それは私の尿です」と、申し訳なさと恥ずかしさで後悔の嵐でした。

あれから、もうすぐ1年経ちますが、未だに夫に笑い話にされています。

今年の夏も、もちろん浴衣は着ますが、垂らし帯と赤いアイラインはもう2度とやる気はありません。私と同じ失敗をすることの無いよう、皆さんお気をつけください。

東京都にお住まいの40代の女性会社員の方からいただいた昨年の夏祭りでのエピソードでした。

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